Shall we write, then?


I was thinking of writing again, but somehow I am trying to think of the story before it happens. It would never work. We have to write as it happens, and not as we think it would. That would be the greatest untruth then… So, where shall we start?

Trees are always a good way to start. They branch out and reach for the heavens as if not content to be here. Their roots are strong and sturdy which keeps them grounded in one place. No matter how high they grow their roots keep them in one place. Their leavy canopy provides shade and protection for those who decide to grow under them, but roots keeps them grounded in one place. As they grow, trees move their leaves to the sun to absorb life giving rays. The plants that grow under their shade are sometimes not in need of lots of sunshine but gives so much beauty to the undergrowth. Their lush leaves and colourful flowers change a barren lanscape to one of abundance. Lots o sunshine or shadows… Both have their place in the life of a forest. So, now we have a tree, rooted in one place and undergrowth which multiply quickly. Their roots are shallow and they grow fast, but lives just as long as the tree that shades them. They eventually grow up the trunk of the tree and many find their way to the sun. The tree remains in one place, rooted, sturdy. Rules of the Universe are the same. Whatever you do, they are rooted and sturdy. We can safely grow under the protective environment rules give us and we can move around, spreading our roots. We can grow close the the sun with patience, but getting to heaven? No. No heaven awaits us. Our heaven lies in the ability to grow, to find truth and to be joyous in finding a glimpse of the sun. So, while I’ve been typing what ever comes to mind, the birth of this new story is yet to happen. Maybe its already there but I don’t have the heart to listen or the eyes to see. Again I need to be patient because I’ve ignored this for so long. The story is there, its here within me and I just need to remember how to write it.

Light vs Darkness

light-and-darkMaybe darkness is fragile and we kill it with light

Darkness is not out to get you. It is the misunderstanding of darkness in your mind that kills you. Darkness, in my mind, is quite fragile, beautiful  and comforting. I was thinking about light and how it consumes darkness. A room that is filled with light will not go dark because it is dark outside, but light will divulge all traces of darkness in every corner it touches.

As a cave diver I have come to understand the importance of light and how it is granted the high ranking of life support when diving in overhead environments. I have also had the priviledge of experiencing the devastation of utter darkness. Needless to say, yet appropriate, it was in those moments being caught in darkness so dense you could feel it cling to your skin, that I have learnt the most. See, there was no distraction. I was alone and had to deal with not so much the darkness outside, but rather with my lack of understanding of what was inside.

Light will always take darkness away, but darkness will never consume light. In a way it is as though darkness says “have it your way” and disapears when you shed light on it. Maybe it respects the presence of light and respectfully wait for you to be ready. Darkness is after all not something everyone wants to deal with because of many ideas that surrounds this ilusive compliment to life.

However you look at it, there are always ways to find answers to things we hardly ever think about. Never write something off with words like “Thats just the way it is” because that is most probably the worst creative killer that exists. Nothing in life ‘just is’. It is because of us. Whether you experience it as good, bad, light, dark, left, right or good or evil, remember that it is just your perception and it will always be clouded with your personal experiences in life.

Ordinary just became extraordinary

images (1)Art is mankind’s reminder that greatness exists within unabashed truth and with this realization comes true freedom.

While gazing at the perfection of nature my thoughts somehow drifted to the concept of art and what it really is. What makes a painting sell or a song hit top of the charts? What makes literary work soar on the wings of unusual words and what defines a true master piece? I could not stop the sudden flood of imagery of colourful, twisted and out of sync faces painted by Pablo Picasso. Mozart and the myriad of notes he used to portray the sadness of his dying soul joined the choir of realization and the crazed mind of Leonardo da Vinci’s depiction of beauty filled my somewhat amateur mind to the brim. Not to mention William Shakespeare and his unique way with words.

Picasso 2
For me she’s the weeping woman. For years I’ve painted her in tortured forms, not through sadism, and not with pleasure, either; just obeying a vision that forced itself on me. It was the deep reality, not the superficial one – Pablo Picasso about The Weeping Woman

Looking at a picture of Picasso, I let my eyes slide to the many famous paintings which came to life under his paintbrush. The weeping woman caught my attention. I could see him. There was no woman in the picture. His eyes depict an alternative way to look at life, his pain is the substance of every symbol he use, colors submerged his frustration and disappointment and his shadow is pertinent, just as on all his other paintings. He is, was and will always be the yin-yang of what he created. Although he could never say this, everything he did was in definition of what he knew he was… Truth.

MozartI thank my God for graciously granting me the opportunity of learning that death is the key which unlocks the door to our true happiness – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Sometimes old things have to be allowed to die a gracious death in order to allow something extraordinary to come to life. Mozart understood the true meaning of what he uttered and although many may have taken it literary, truth is hardly ever something we can comprehend on a conscience level. Mozart’s Requiem… It is masterfully real and surreal at the same time. The longing caught in the lead line is at times disguised within the over use of notes and a myriad of instruments. Also symbolic of all the clutter in life that eventually strips us from recognizing any creativity within ourselves. The base line takes me on an emotional roller-coaster that leaves me breathless, wanting more yet, not sure if my body could contain the expansion of energy building to momentous heights within. The pace picks up, urging even the most cynical of all to melt and flow with the murky stream of self-inflicted death within. This is Mozart and trending the same as Picasso… Truth.

Mona LisaIron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind – Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo da Vinci is synonym with silence to me. The Mona Lisa is but a glimpse of the exceptional beauty he brought to the world. She watches in silence the sea of faces wanting to experience the magnificence of her existence. Caught on canvas and framed, just as the moment when light captured something real in her face and made her matter to the world. The background fades to nothing, just as everything obsolete fades in moments of our own majestic awareness that we are more than we have become. His journey into decaying bodies in his quest to find truth doused him in saint-like silence and although criticized, he continued his pilgrimage into the abyss of unthought-of thoughts. Being one of the greatest minds of all time, he, just as Mozart and Picasso, lived what he was… Truth.

As a result of thought provoking issues regarding real art I have come to the conclusion that art is truth captured within the silence, beauty and willingness to share our insanity with the world. It does not lie within being different or unique. It lies within our ability to be truthful about our dark side and being human, even if only for a fraction of a moment. Art is mankind’s reminder that greatness exists within unabashed truth and with this realization comes true freedom.

Music… Truly inspiring

The perfection of every note resonates deep within my soul. A fraction of beauty captured in the magnificence of what the composer was feeling at that moment. As it progresses and more echo off the base line, it is as if it grows with majestic flair to touch all that I am. For a moment it scares me that something can so easily gulp all reason and sanity away. Here I stand, bare-emotional in front of myself. I know I have been here before and will seek out these moments of irrational splendor for a long time to come. This, in the end, is who I have become…

Why are relationships such disasters?

HouseA relationship is pretty much like inviting someone over for dinner

Life is not always what you expect, but without exception, everything you have imagined. Mankind’s favorite question by far is ‘why?’ The toughest yet most simplistic answer should always be ‘because’. Why are relationships so difficult? Why can’t we get (and stay!) in a happy paradigm? Why do people hurt us? Why, oh why?

Relationships are the most important journey any human being will ever embark on. It is the one thing that devastates us, lifts us up and leaves us desensitized. Strangely, even after saying ‘never again’, we fall into the next before a blink of an eye that shuts the world out. We don’t want this, but yet again we can’t live without it.

What is the significance of a relationship then? Why are we so compelled and desperate to submerge ourselves within a human retention vault of emotions if it’s really the last thing we want? Some people claim it has everything to do with hope and maybe a bit of faith. Our souls seek the depth of happiness and love and we would do anything to soar over the planes of tranquility on the wings of new found peace. Maybe this is more a fantasy than anything else.

Relationships are just that. It is an expression of how we relate to the world. Whatever a relationship and its participants bring to you is an exact manifestation of what you think of yourself and of what you believe you deserve. A painful past recurrence is your way of telling yourself that you will never be good enough. You will always attract relationships into your life to remind yourself of your failures. We don’t work from a place of perceived happiness. We use human drama to get what we want. Relationships is our play field where we use manipulation and victimization as rules for engagement and whomever can play the game best, wins.

It doesn’t have to be like this. Since you are a participant at any given moment and in some form of a relationship, you should give it some thought. First thought should be why this is not working? There are a zillion books and info on how to have the perfect relationship. Why is it not working? Because. This is such a beautiful word. To me it means ‘being the cause’.

It gets simpler from here. The moment you accept that you are the cause of your pain, this may get you to start thinking on ways to change your general experience in your relation to the world. Lists of what you want have been suggested, but what if you start making a list of what you are prepared to give? What if you can find it within yourself to become a giver and let the taker in you slowly disappear? If you don’t mind me quoting from ‘The Dark Side of Light’, a relationship is pretty much like inviting someone over for dinner. Someone will bring wine and flowers and someone will bring food. They will sit at the table, enjoy the wine, smell the flowers and eat the food in a space of sharing and togetherness. Afterwards there will be no argument revolving around the fact of who ate what and who drank the most wine. All participants decided before this took place on what they will bring to the feasting table.

Keeping to the concept of a dinner table, it is quite annoying when someone arrives for dinner, but without any contribution. They sit, have their meal and leave. They are also the type that will complain afterwards that the meat was too dry or there were too little salt in the food. This is what I mean by being a taker in a relationship. The guy at work, always complaining about his working conditions and how he should be paid more. A child who would be happier with their friend’s parents or the wife moaning about her husband’s frustrating little habits. Activists running around showing us pictures of devastation and wanting everyone to join their campaigns of saving just about everything on this planet. Maybe now is a good time to realize that the only thing in need of saving, that’s if you’re into it, would be yourself and there is only one who can do this… You. Take responsibility for your actions by admitting you are the cause of your own troubles and get thinking on things you want to give. And your entire list of why’s will be replaced by an immediate response of being the cause.

Is life the ultimate state of being?

tree eyeI think life is the only place where a unity exists between three different entities. You have your body, which experiences life, a mind that imagines life, and your soul as the observer. Maybe life is the ultimate state of being. Maybe life is not about growing to perfection or learning.

Get Real

CeilingThis place in my mind is my refuge from the world. Who would I be without it?

Free your World

Earth MoonIf you want to free your world, you first need to understand what it is imprisoned to.

Life, truth and you

AngelI’m not going to tell you to wake up and change. You are already in the whirlpool of self-destruction and nothing anyone says will change that.

Visions of an apocalypse so majestic and profound submerge me in a world of peace. I am but one minute part of this whole. Strange how no one would find the time in their busy live to contemplate the dawn of something as life-changing as this. The amber glow of a nearing sunset will not make you feel remorse, it will only stir anger and a new way of justifying why we’re in this situation. If I had another name, would your perception of what I’m telling you be any different?

I looked up to the sky yesterday. It had a blinding glare, the type of blue we see when it rained. That moment signified why we are so ignorant of what is happening out there. My world seemed in perfect harmony. The wind restlessly rustled through the myriad of trees that surrounds my home. Birds were flying around; tjirping happily about their food find and in some cases, little treasures that would become part of their nests. Everything was perfect in that moment. Sadly, I had to be realistic about this and came to the conclusion that it was only me feeling that way at that given moment.

Why contemplate moments of perfection? Because our perception of perfect is far from perfect. That part eludes us all the time. Perfection may lie in us realizing our connection to everything. It is the fine thread that binds us to the Universe, to nature and whether you want to know this or not, to one another. Perfection lies within our ability to see and experience this connection on a conscience level.

Lots of useless chatter and we simply get nowhere because we do not make time for this contemplation. Others must tell us how to do this and from an inexhaustible source of information we will choose one that best fit our life and believe system. We do not do things for the good of all, but in our small way of thinking only for one small part… The great I. It is pretty much like being diagnosed with cancer in a part of the body and bombarding the whole body with chemo-therapy. No matter what you do, the whole body gets sick. The ripple effect is most probably best described by the fore-mentioned situation and worth a second thought.

We are still young in our thinking and in a lot of ways many of the good things in life is discredited by learned people. We believe that cancer can only be cured by the devastation of chemo-therapy. We believe we need all the useless junk we horde because it makes our life full. Multi-media have made it easy to have more friends than you care about. If they ever say anything that doesn’t support your life, you delete them and find new friends. Please be aware that within this system you might also be subject to the same treatment. You should learn to live your false life exceptionally otherwise you’ll be pushed from the realms of existence.

I’m not going to tell you to wake up and change. You are already in the whirlpool of self-destruction and nothing anyone says will change that. We’ll just throw in a few one-liners to give you a few seconds of bliss and leave you to continue your downward spiral, screaming like a madman, complaining and cursing about the unfairness of life. For now you will have to bear the excruciating pain of being half dead in a poisoned body and lucky for you, drugs in the form of all your want is abundant and has the ability to shut life and your part in it out. Besides, your pain is the epiphany of the only truth you will ever know.

How alone are you really?

You will always receive exactly what you believe you deserve

If you want to survive this world you need to be able to think on your feet. You need to sound informed and be able to blend in with the masses because all this will be in validation of your existence. This will be an ultimate justification for your worthless contribution to something that has been said a thousand times over. These may be harsh words, but if you allow yourself a moment of blunt honesty, you should be in agreement.

We are by no means pioneers of a new thinking generation. We say the same thing, but found new words to make it sound more impressive. We do the same things, over and over. What are we so afraid of? Since death is a sure thing in life, does it matter if you leave all alone? You should ask yourself if you are not just as alone as the day you were born. What happens in your mind even when surrounded by people? Are you even present? We live life in survival mode, nothing more, and nothing less. Your fear is based on non-survival and a crazy notion that being alone is a sure death sentence.

Being alone and admitting to it on a deep level gives room to serious reflection of who you are and what you have to give to life itself. Sitting in a corner and screaming at the top your voice about change will not effect change. It just adds to the noise pollution we surround ourselves with to shut life out. It is our way to validate our rightness to whoever wants to listen. I am sorry for being the bearer of bad news. No one is listening. They too are sitting in a corner screaming.

Hopefully by now you are starting to wonder how to change this. It is within this moment of contemplation that miracles start to happen in your life. In need of answers, you will most likely become silent and start to listen. Answers working in your life will come at random moments and most likely, you will have more questions which are even better. Meticulously you’ll get into the habit of saying less and listening more.

One thing I want to add is that charity starts at home, but first you need to realize that your home is you. You will always receive exactly what you believe you deserve, whether perceived as good or bad. Be good to yourself, look after your body and be kind to your soul. This will be your only companion in the sea of life out there. This is the one thing you need to learn to trust and love.